Everyone Else Has It Figured Out. Am I Good Enough?

When the question “Am I good enough?” comes up for you, where is this coming from? We have all felt it…from the first day on the job, perhaps in dating, when we are taking a leap of faith. And the answer is a resounding YES. You are enough (and more than enough) exactly how you are.

For years, I was striving to get appointed to the next opportunity, looking ahead to where I could move up the ladder and strategizing my next move. Now, there isn’t anything wrong with doing that. It’s being a forward thinker, preparing yourself for the next steps, and understanding how to navigate. It also has a downside. Innately, I found myself comparing myself to others subconsciously. What did they know that I should know, how do I learn from them, and how do I get to “be” them one day? The answer is that you won’t. You can take advice from them based on THEIR path and understand their experiences and what they learned from their experiences….like a mentor. And this type of relationship is healthy.

Until we think…I’m not ready to be them or be “that” because I am not there yet. And you are correct. Because you were not put on this earth to “be” like anyone else. The world needs you and who YOU are. 

You will not be them. 

Believe it or not, there will come a time when those who have mentored you will call you and say, “I can’t believe how far you have come, and I’m so proud of you.” And, of course, you will feel so humbled and filled to receive that call, and you will be glad the person noticed the difference you are making and your growth.

What sets you apart from a person you are comparing yourself to is that you have your own experiences, mind, and “ways of knowing” things that no one else could have. This is your special sauce…your gift to the world. It’s when we compare ourselves to others that we make ourselves “small.”

Uh, um…you were not divinely created to play small, my friend. You get to create and evolve based on your gifts. 

I don’t think I’m ready yet. 

When a person says “I’m not ready” to me during private coaching, my question to them is, “What does ready look like to you?” They give me a list of things that they need to do to feel qualified to take action on their dream. What we don’t understand at this moment is that no matter where they are in their 10 bullet points and the reasons they give me of reasons they aren’t ready, they are ready for something. They are ready to take action based on the desires that are in their heart. What they are really saying to me is, “I want to learn more.” 

Right now, if you think of one thing that you don’t think you are ready for, I want you to write down what you think you are not ready for and then write down where you are in the process of being ready for it. What will it look like when you are ready? And if I could peek at your paper right now after you have written these things down, I know that you are more ready than you are giving yourself credit for. In the bullet points of things you need to do to be ready, what is one small, tiny action you could take towards one or two of those items to feel good about your readiness? In another blog we will discuss how these actions make a huge impact on your confidence. 

I’m not smart enough. 

As compared to what? What are you comparing yourself to that you are allowing to steal your worth? You get to define your worth. And your worth is not the same as the person standing next to you. You have your own worth—your gifts, your insight, your empathy, your gentleness, your connection abilities. I am SO glad you are NOT the other person because this is how you get to define yourself.

Many people talk about imposter syndrome, and this is all the same thing. You are already prepared. You are showing up in the right places. Maybe you don’t know how to take action. Ok, that’s different than not being enough. Can we agree on that? Not thinking you are enough is rooted in fear, and that’s the first thing to realize. Once you stop yourself in your tracks and realize this, ask yourself what the fear is really about. This may seem unnatural to you, but with practice, you will catch yourself in your tracks and be able to call it by name, laugh at it, and say, oh hell no! I don’t believe that lie about myself. And then tell yourself the truth. What is the truth? 

You are already enough and have been. You were meant for the world with the gifts you have. Just be you.

With love and truth,

Dr. T

PS. This Summer, 2024, my new book, Truth & Dare, will be born. Truth & Dare is a book for every person who has wanted more from their life. Ones who are in limbo on their path, and need clarity on the next steps. Ones who have felt they were not good enough, and have swallowed their pride to live in someone else’s expectations. I want to help you make your quantum leap into the life that is your personal truth. The life you were meant to live. Your divine purpose. 

Lived advice. Action. Revelation.

Join the waitlist to be notified for the book pre-sale that will be released in Summer 2024.